GOODBYE MY LOVE, GOODBYE MY FRIEND
by SharonLouise
Summary: CD spoiler for the season finale sorry


GOODBYE MY LOVE, GOODBYE MY FRIEND.

DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN CSI OR ANY OF its CHARACTERS. I DO OWN SIAN MATTHERS AND HER MEMORIES.

SPOILERS SEASON 7 FINALE.

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Grissom sat silently staring at the flower covered coffin his mind in turmoil. Why Sara? Why not him, he was the one the MK was after. Why take her? Why hadn't they found her in time? His thoughts were going around in circles.

A hand touched his shoulder, he looked up at his friend. Catherine's hand shook as tears filled her eyes.

"It's time to start Gil." She said quietly.

"Okay." He whispered." Is she here?"

"No. After the things you said, I don't think she will come."

"It wasn't her fault Catherine, I should never have blamed her. She should be here to say her goodbyes."

"I think Sian left town. You blaming her on top of her own guilt was too much. Brass has had a BOLO on her bike but it's not been seen since it happened." Catherine told him. In all the years that she had known him, Catherine had never seen him act like he did the day Sian told him that Sara was dead.

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Flash back

Grissom was sat in his office staring into space, praying that the phone would ring to tell him that Sara was alright. Sian had told him she would contact him as soon as she could. She had forced him to stay at the lab, he didn't agree with her but everybody else had. That was why he was sat here slowly going out of his mind and not out there looking for her.

A small knock at his door interrupted his thoughts. He looked up, wiping a hand over his face.

"Come in," he said not knowing the horror that was waiting.

The door opened and in walked Sian with Catherine and Brass behind her. Sian walked up to him, moving behind his desk. Grissom looked up into her eyes. They were puffy and bloodshot. Grissom shook his head.

"NO! No, don't you dare come in here and tell me she's gone. Don't you dare!" he cried.

Sian bit her lip, she hated to do this, and she knew it would destroy him, it almost had her. She wasn't sure just how she was holding it together now.

"Gil, I'm so sorry. She's gone, Sara's gone."

"NO!" Grissom shouted as he stood up advancing on Sian. "It's all your fault. If you hadn't fucked up your job, you could have got the FBI involved. We would have found her in time, but no you screwed up and now I've lost her. It's all your fault!" Grissom's hands had reached Sian's shoulders and he started to shake her hard.

"Gil, STOP!" yelled Brass rushing around the desk to pull him off Sian. " She did all she could Gil. Hell if it wasn't for Sian we would have never found Sara at all."

"I don't care Jim, it's all her fault!" raged Grissom.

Sian backed away shaking her head,

"I'm sorry Gil, I'm so so sorry." She said as she turned and left the room.

Catherine looked at Brass and Grissom, Grissom had collapsed into Jim's arms sobbing. She turned and slipped out of the room looking for Sian. She saw her heading down the corridor out of the building.

"Sian wait!" Catherine called

Sian stopped but didn't turn around as she waited for Catherine.

"He didn't mean it Sian. He would have gone off at who ever it was who told him." Catherine tried to comfort Sian.

"He said the truth Catherine. Maybe if I was still in the FBI I would have got more people out there looking for her and I would have found her in time." Sian whispered.

"Oh so the three helicopters you got to look for her wasn't enough? Hell if we didn't have them we wouldn't have found Sara at all."

"I'm sorry Catherine. It wasn't enough for me I should have done more. I think I had better go. Say goodbye to everyone for me, I just wish I had got to know you all under better circumstances."

With that Sian picked up her bike helmet from reception and left the lab.

End of flash back.

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Grissom sat in front of the coffin, surrounded by his friends and colleagues. He looked around surprised at the huge volume of people there for his Sara. He listened to all the talk about Sara but his mind wandered, did these people really know her.

It was nearing the end of the ceremony when a quiet voice spoke up.

"I'd like to say a few words if I could." Sian stood up from her place at the back. She knew that Grissom didn't want her there but this was something she had to do for Sara and for him. Sian walked up to Sara's coffin and placed a small single rose on the top of it. She turned and faced everybody.

"Some of you don't know me. I'm Sian Matthers and Sara was my best friend. I have sat here and listened to all your stories of Sara, the friend and work colleague. I thought of all the stories I could tell you about Sara growing up, how she broke her leg when we were 14, about how she got her tattoos. But I think I'll tell you about how my wonderful friend fell in love." Sian looked at Grissom and gave him a small sad smile.

"So where do I start. Both Sara and I had gone through school and we were at Berkley. Sara was determined in everything she did, she had to do the best nothing else was good enough. Sara wanted to work in forensics and nothing on this earth was going to stop her. She was attending every seminar she could, she wanted to learn everything.

One week she tried to get me interested and go to one with her." Come on " she pleaded with me," You'll love it" . I always remember my reply "Sorry Sara a mouldy old professor talking about bugs ! Not my thing love" well Sara looked at me with those big brown eyes, pleading with me. I'm sure a fair few of you know the look I mean. In the end I gave in and went with her. We entered the hall where it was being held, I would have been glad to stay at the back but no not our Sara. She pulled me right to the front and made me sit down with her. In front of us was a youngish man with brilliant blue eyes. Eyes that shined when they saw Sara. I remember looking at Sara then and saw that her eyes were sparkling back at him. Somehow I knew that this wasn't the first time Sara had seen this visiting professor. When the guy turned away from Sara's eyes, she turned to me "What do you think? He's not a mouldy old professor at all is he?" I looked at my friend and I knew then that this was it. This visiting professor had stolen her heart. Sara fell in love 14 years ago with Dr. Gil Grissom. She came to Las Vegas for one reason and she stayed for the same reason. Sara's love for you Gil." Sian stopped talking and walked up to Grissom, "I'm so sorry Gil, I wish I could have got to her sooner and bought her home to you."

Grissom stood up and put his arms around Sian,

"It wasn't your fault. I was wrong to blame you."

"Thank you, " Sian pulled away, tears in her eyes. "Let's say goodbye to Sara now."

Sian handed Grissom another rose and together they walked up to the coffin.

"Goodbye my love." Whispered Grissom.

"Goodbye me friend." Whispered Sian.

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Thank you for taking the time to read my sad story, I hope you enjoyed it, if you did please review.


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